This lady is my Mum...
She is 92, lives alone and generally gets on with life.
She has vascular dementia, poor mobility (trundles along with a three wheeled walker ) and her eyes are rubbish, macular disease means her focus is pretty naff.
Today is Mother's Day, and like loads of other sons and daughters we had plans...which have been blown away!!
Here is my personal dilemma...
She can't do the normal simple domestic things in life, wash her clothes, change her bed, shop...which hasn't been a problem, because I've been able to be her hands and legs and eyes and help her with all this and keep her life as normal as possible...
Now...
all advice is to keep away!!
How can I?
All her contact with her friends has gone, she doesn't see anyone around her, she has difficulty ( in fact she has given up) changing channels on her TV remote.
I have to go at least once a week to do her chores, take her food.
I broke my ankle 2 years ago and we used the wonderful TESCO delivery service - we have ONE booked next Sunday with ASDA, that's it, none available at all after that, so I have to shop for her, (all this effort by supermarkets for an elderly hour is great, but she can't get there and wouldn't be able to see or carry the shopping when she does)...
...do I knock at her door, drop the shopping and run!!
Guilt
So as it stands, I will be the only person she will see...so if she does catch COVID-19 it'll be down to me.
I'm trying to be as anti-social as possible...not even hugging my wife. We sort of decided that Suzie would be the shopper for us all to keep another layer of distance between Mother and this virus...but GUILT - how can I allow any possible guilt to move away from me and lay upon her?
Help
I live a distance of around an hour away from my mother - I stress about who I go to for help and advice - Drs and everyone concerned with the care sector are going to be overwhelmed and in all honesty, at the moment Mother is fine, AS LONG AS I CAN KEEP changing her bed, wash her clothes and make sure she has food.
What do I do? Continue to stew in this pot of despair?
It won't help her, or me, or us, if I get depressed and end up being no help at all !
There is one lady who has offered to help, but we come back to that issue of guilt...can I let her become part of that chain?
So...
TodayI am going over and cooking her a Mother's Day meal of her favourite fish, (Pan Fired Sea Bass with a garlic and lemon sauce, baby potatoes and broad beans...).
I will keep away - the 2 metre social distancing, no hugs or kisses, we have our sanitiser gel, and I will open windows...
and then I will go over once a week, shop, wash and change her bed, and keep her sane!!
And I won't be the only son/daughter/carer who has these issues...
RANT...
I'm doing this and then look at the pictures of all those selfish idiots at the seaside, shopping markets...
STOP IT FFS
