Been away from here again...

I used to enjoy my blog posts...

Looking back it was a form of boring the guys in The Naafi orThe  Malcolm Club ( long gone institutions), sharing without the need to actually chat in person to somebody!! Then your mates just looked at you and said 'aye', on here anybody who could be arsed just scroll past the crap and look at the pics!!

Pretty same on Facebook, which has taken over from this little blog...( here FACEBOOK ) 😀

I pretty religiously put up logs of my walking, follow loads of strange people in wierd and wonderful groups, such as lost shopping trolleys, The Dull Club, Steps we love, park benches, weather around the world right now...football obviously! Pared down the crap over the years, it works for me..

Then there's Twitter! Been a trifle stressed time on there!!  

Politically I'm disctinctly Centre Left, and right now its hard to really come out and say "I'll Vote For Him/Her"..but that's bye the bye, Twitter has gone from a fairly relaxed chatty newsy place to a something resembling The Spanish Inquisition, complete with Heritcal Burnings!!  Again, I've just spent time paring down who, and what I follow...There seems to be none of that middle ground, eg if you have a tendancy to Boris, you must be a raving Trumpite as well, and if you think Biden is right, you're a raving Corbynista, of which I'm neither...I suppose being of the Harold Wilson, Jim Callaghan generation of Labour, well, bring their kind back.

I do find it hard to socialise.

In The RAF it was easy, walk into a Naafi anywhere in the world and you already had a connection, something to chat about, a commonality of cause, be you an airframe fitter or (as I was) a "blanket stacker"...logistics, supply etc... Now, Ive been here for heading towards 20 years(!!!) and I see people I know, but with a couple of exceptions, still haven't a clue as to their job, profession, history etc...in our local Club, there's always the same group in there when I go in, who've been that same group long before me and know each other intimately, I'm always the outsider, and I admit I sit by myself and tend to only add the occasional comment to the conversations - often because its a very parochial and insular conversation !!  Right now Social Distancing suits me!!

The other half of this blog, Suzie, has had a much harder time of it than me. Made redundant just before lockdown, actually on her way to an interview when they pulled the plug as such. A couple of interviews since, always pleasant reviews, but no job. Now no dole, only available for 6 months, so we are relying on my pensions...which I spend at a rapid rate.😓. 

We've spent more time enclosed together in our little nest than ever - I resented the intrusion for a while - missed my solitary life of seeing Suzie off to work, breakfast, walk, or domestics, or visit Mother, then home after a pint at the above club, sit in big chair, sport on TV nap, prepare evening tea, welcome home the worker...bed!! But we've worked it out - I get up early, she gets up late  :)

Mother has spent nigh on 2/3rds of a year stuck in her little flat, no social life at all - at least we've been out shopping, holiday in Norfolk, gone to pubs etc..she's had nowt, with the odd exception of me twice a week, a visit from Janice for a week or so, odd phone cll from Grandchildren and her friends, who have been the worst at this!!

A rare lunch out...keeping her safe

So, as this second lockdown comes to an end, a vaccine is in sight, what of our future?  

Me...going to walk from Westminster to Tower Hill eating and drinking it all back in again...Pepys, Boswell & Johnson, Shardlake...🚂🍺🍱

Suzie, dancing. Lots and lots and lots of dancing!!💃💃💃

Mother, tea, sandwiches and bingo with her friends, before its too late.  She's 93 next moth.

Hightlight of past 8 months...Suzie's birthday feast :)

Dystopia 2020

This lady is my Mum...

She is 92, lives alone and generally gets on with life.
She has vascular dementia, poor mobility (trundles along with a three wheeled walker ) and her eyes are rubbish, macular disease means her focus is pretty naff.

Today is Mother's Day, and like loads of other sons and daughters we had plans...which have been blown away!!

Here is my personal dilemma...

She can't do the normal simple domestic things in life, wash her clothes, change her bed, shop...which hasn't been a problem, because I've been able to be her hands and legs and eyes and help her with all this and keep her life as normal as possible...

Now...
all advice is to keep away!!  

How can I?  

All her contact with her friends has gone, she doesn't see anyone around her, she has difficulty ( in fact she has given up) changing channels on her TV remote.

I have to go at least once a week to do her chores, take her food.

I broke my ankle 2 years ago and we used the wonderful TESCO delivery service - we have ONE booked next Sunday with ASDA, that's it, none available at all after that, so I have to shop for her, (all this effort by supermarkets for an elderly hour is great, but she can't get there and wouldn't be able to see or carry the shopping when she does)...

...do I knock at her door, drop the shopping and run!!  

Guilt

So as it stands, I will be the only person she will see...so if she does catch COVID-19 it'll be down to me.  

I'm trying to be as anti-social as possible...not even hugging my wife.  We sort of decided that Suzie would be the shopper for us all to keep another layer of distance between Mother and this virus...but GUILT - how can I allow any possible guilt to move away from me and lay upon her?

Help 

I live a distance of around an hour away from my mother - I stress about who I go to for help and advice - Drs and everyone concerned with the care sector are going to be overwhelmed and in all honesty, at the moment Mother is fine, AS LONG AS I CAN KEEP changing her bed, wash her clothes and make sure she has food.


What do I do? Continue to stew in this pot of despair? 
It won't help her, or me, or us, if I get depressed and end up being no help at all !

There is one lady who has offered to help, but we come back to that issue of guilt...can I let her become part of that chain?

So...

TodayI am going over and cooking her a Mother's Day meal of her favourite fish, (Pan Fired Sea Bass with a garlic and lemon sauce, baby potatoes and broad beans...).

I will keep away - the 2 metre social distancing, no hugs or kisses, we have our sanitiser gel, and I will open windows...

and then I will go over once a week, shop, wash and change her bed, and keep her sane!!

And I won't be the only son/daughter/carer who has these issues...

RANT...

I'm doing this and then look at the pictures of all those selfish idiots at the seaside, shopping markets...

STOP IT FFS